It's Sunday. But I Didn't Go to Church

It is Sunday. I did not go to church for services. Why not? There are several reasons. They may not seem like good ones, but they are mine. Here they are in no particular order:

• I am extremely tired of male/patriarchal language when speaking of God. (I believe that God is BOTH male and female. If you happen to believe or just like God being called, "He", I am fine with that, but please realize that not everyone feels the same way. Use inclusive language when speaking in public about God.)
• I like diverse ways of worship, not the same thing every. single. Sunday. (I realize that some folks LIKE services that never change - I'm just not one of them.) Mix things up a bit. Full stompin', Holy Spirit infused, speaking in tongues, yellin', hands waving and clapping, enthusiastic, EMOTIONAL worship, would really get my juices flowing. A poetry service, gospel, drama, just ANYTHING that shows a little ingenuity about worship. 
• Show some EMOTION during worship. Most services are almost completely devoid of intense, sincere, authentic, genuine emotion of any kind. How about some laughter (and I mean REAL laughter), tears, joy, happiness? Is that really too hard to plan and execute worship services that have all of or at least some of those things? I have attended a handful of services in my life that have those things, and I felt so good afterwards. And NONE of those emotions need come with shaming, hateful or damaging words. 
• And speaking of words, if a faith community is going to be following the words and teachings of Jesus, then there is no room for hate, shame or anger toward anyone. God made everyone, so God loves everyone. Period. Jesus didn't talk about hate or people that today we think of as sinful. His words were: "Love others as I have loved you." There is too much hating going on in religion, no matter the denomination or beliefs. People are using the Bible as a vehicle to justify the hate (read: fear) they hold in their hearts toward others. This cannot be tolerated or encouraged. IT is an abomination to hate anyone. 
• Music. Now, I am all for the old hymns, Bach or classical music in church. (Of course the old hymns either should be gender inclusive or re-worded so that they are), but a steady diet of that makes me feel as if I'm stuck in a time warp. How about some jazz, blues, rock, gospel, folk or praise? Why not REALLY mix it up with a little of each? I really like diverse kinds of music when I listen to music on my own and I think that would be fantastic in a church service.
• Let's have some good, thought provoking, burn-the-barn preaching. Yeah, that emotion thing again. Preaching from the heart always beats any other kind in my book. I realize that some really like intellectual, higher thinking kind of stuff, but frankly it leaves me cold. Touch me in some way. Give me something to think about all week. If you, as a preacher, have your hair on fire about something, PREACH it!! If, by the end of the "sermon", and by that I mean, whatever message is to be conveyed in whatever form, the preacher is exhausted, that is a good thing. Don't always have the message done as a sermon. Use other forms to get that message across - drama, poetry, story, 2 or 3 people involved. MIX IT UP.
• And finally,  be friendly to whomever shows up on your doorstep. No, I don't mean just say hello. I mean GENUINE friendliness. Show some warmth. Ask about me, don't just talk about yourself. Introduce me to another person. Introduce me to the entire congregation (without embarrassing me), find out why I am there and maybe even why I might stay. (Or might not.) Follow up. Don't ignore some people, and be friendly to others. Invite me to something that the congregation is doing. Have plenty of things that the people, who make up the faith community, are doing that I can be invited to join. Make me feel welcome and loved. Then I WILL be back. 

Does that make sense to anyone else but me? I'm beginning to think that I am the only one who feels this way.